When Teams Discover Their Secret Language: My Journey into the Science of Fascination
I've spent countless hours in conference rooms watching teams struggle to communicate, wondering why brilliant people sometimes seem to speak entirely different languages. But recently, I witnessed something extraordinary unfold with a team—a moment when they discovered not just how they communicate, but how they fascinate.
The Moment Everything Clicked
Picture this: A senior leader sits across from me in our coaching session, describing herself as someone who "builds on existing knowledge before introducing new ideas." There's wisdom in her voice, but also something else—a hunger to step more boldly into sharing the innovative thoughts I know are percolating within her.
What struck me was both her self-awareness about the gap between how others see her strengths and how she sometimes questions her right to voice them.
The Hidden Patterns We All Carry
The science behind Fascination reveals something profound: we each communicate through seven distinct languages—Innovation, Passion, Power, Prestige, Trust, Mystique, and Alert.
The leader I worked with recently exemplified this beautifully. His Maestro profile—leading with Power and backed by Prestige—showed up in his natural tendency to set high standards and drive results. "I see my role as providing guidance and driving standards," he told me, and I could hear both the confidence and the weight of responsibility in his voice. But what happens when a team becomes too good at one language? His team's heat map revealed something remarkable: they were Maverick Leaders—pioneering, irreverent, and entrepreneurial. Yet their dominance in Innovation and Power came with a shadow side. Without balance, their greatest strength could become their greatest weakness. Here's where the research gets really interesting. When teams lean too heavily into their dominant advantages, they risk what we call Double Trouble. This same team, so heavy in Innovation, at times became scattered and struggled to complete projects.
I watched this play out in real-time as we discussed time management—that universal leadership challenge. Each advantage approached it differently:
The Innovation folks wanted to think outside the box for completely new solutions.
The Passion members focused on giving emotional support and praise.
The Power voices used authority to emphasize the goal's importance.
Trust builders nurtured relationships to keep focus on the team rather than the individual.
The beauty wasn't in having one right approach, but in recognizing that effective teams need this diversity of thinking. Sometimes the most profound insights come from what's missing.
This reminded me of one leader's insight about a challenging team member—someone whose need for validation from higher-ups created workflow inefficiencies. Her ability to see this person as a natural leader who desperately wants to be seen as such revealed the kind of nuanced understanding that comes from truly seeing people's communication patterns. Perhaps my favorite part of this work is crafting what I call Personal Leadership Brand Statements. For that senior leader, we crafted: Her distinct value is her ability to weave relationships into resilient networks while reading the undercurrents that others miss, creating ecosystems of trust where people feel genuinely seen and strategically positioned for what's coming next.
These statements aren't just nice words—they're mirrors that reflect back someone's unique value proposition. They answer the question: What distinct value do you bring that no one else can replicate?
The Science Behind the Art
The research supporting this approach is compelling. The Carnegie Institute found that 85% of success comes from personality and communication abilities, while only 15% stems from technical knowledge. Yet most professional development focuses on that smaller slice of the pie. The Fascinate assessment differs from other personality tools because it measures how others perceive you at your best, rather than how you see yourself. It's based on the psychology of brands—because ultimately, we're all in the business of making ourselves memorable and valuable to others. As I watched this team process their collective heat map, I saw something beautiful happen. They stopped seeing personality differences as obstacles and started seeing them as complementary strengths. The Innovation thinkers began appreciating the Trust builders who keep teams grounded. The Power voices recognized they needed the Passion members to maintain an emotional connection. The goal isn't to change who you are—it's to become more of who you already are, but with greater intentionality and awareness of how others receive your natural communication style.
The Invitation
I leave you with the question that has shaped my coaching philosophy: Instead of focusing on what people need to fix, what if we highlighted what they're already doing right so they can do more of it? In a world obsessed with improvement and optimization, perhaps the most radical act is to discover and amplify the ways we already naturally fascinate others. Because at the end of the day, different isn't just better than better—it's irreplaceable. What's your fascination advantage? And more importantly, how might your team transform if everyone understood not just their own communication language, but learned to speak fluently into their advantages?
I am a certified Fascinate advisor and executive coach specializing in helping leaders and teams discover their distinct value. My approach focuses on amplifying natural strengths rather than fixing perceived weaknesses.
